Forget about turning my basement into a “man cave,” with a giant TV and walls covered with Boston Red Sox memorabilia. I want my own movie theater—and I’m only 250 words and $100 from getting it.
Mike Hurley is giving away his Houlton, Maine-based Temple Theatre after spending $200,000 to renovate it over the past 12 years, including two digital projection screens, which were installed in November 2014. He’s hoping to get at least 250 entries in an essay contest that will decide who’ll own it next. The theater is valued at $350,000.
It’s almost a natural fit if you think about it. I’m a professional writer (no matter what you think of the quality of my work, I’ve found someone who’s willing to pay me to do it), I like movies, I’m only a few hours away from Maine and like to think I have a decent grip on the latest technology.
Heck, if I’m willing to plunk down money for the chance of winning tonight’s $450 million Powerball jackpot, why wouldn’t I be willing to take a shot on owning my own movie theater?
Now, I just need an integrator to give it the once-over to make sure the place has all the best technology. Each theater seats 200 people and includes a balcony. I know Hurley recently upgraded the screens, audio system and speakers, but if I’m going to buy something, I want it to be top-notch.
I’m still not sure if I’d keep the theater public or make it my home away from home if I win the essay contest, or maybe a mix of both. It’s never too early to think about the best way to get my own private advanced screening of Star Wars Episode VII in May 2017, right?
Not only are there two screens in the 98-year-old Temple Theatre, the building also features 4,200 square feet of office space and a 2,000 square-foot apartment. Maybe I’ll follow Hurley’s lead and have my theater manager live in the apartment or maybe I’ll make it a guest room for my technology consultant.
Hurley will also sell Colonial Theatre, a movie theater in Belfast, Maine, but remains owner of Fiberglass Farm, a business that makes bobbleheads (Note to self: include a photo of my bobblehead collection with my application essay).
Hurley told The Hollywood Reporter he “makes a ton of money” on concessions at Temple Theatre, where a small popcorn is still less than $2 and Wednesdays are free popcorn nights, if you bring your own bowl.
He and some staffers in Belfast will read all of the essays, then send the 20 best to a secret panel of three in Houlton.
Submissions will be judged based on “writing structure, content, quality of expression, [and] creativity.” The only catch? Hurley is accepting a minimum of 3500 entries, so he’ll collect the theater’s asking price. But don’t worry—he’s offering refunds to all participants if he doesn’t receive enough submissions.
Here’s more information about the essay contest to earn the right to own the Temple Theatre, but I’m not sure why you’d bother going against me. Heck, maybe I’ll make Hurley a straight cash offer after I win Powerball tonight.
